


the sacrifice was much too high

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Awesome Leia Organa, Ben Solo Deserved Better, Ben Solo Lives, Canon Compliant, Leia Organa Deserves Better, Leia Organa Needs a Hug, Other, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Resurrection, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:55:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26148268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Leia would do anything to save her son, destiny be damned.
Relationships: Leia Organa & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Kudos: 7
Collections: Hurt/Comfort Bingo - Round 11





	the sacrifice was much too high

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Sacrifice
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Title from “Forsaken” by Within Temptation, which really is a very ST song.

  
The vision cut through Leia’s mind even as she paused, breathing heavily. The sight of her, dueling a man with her eyes and Han’s mother’s hair, and her cutting him down — it was something that took her breath away, knocked it out.   
  
“No,” she said. “I won’t let you...”  
  
“Leia?” Luke’s voice, cutting through her haze. “Leia!”  
  
Leia looked up at him just then, realizing she wasn’t on that strange phantom planet. She was all right.   
  
“I saw Ben,” she said. “I saw myself...killing him."  
  
Luke said the entirely wrong thing next. “Master Yoda said that the future is always in motion — ”  
  
“Kriff Master Yoda,” Leia said. She could swear that the familiar rage was already clawing at her insides, the rage that she’d felt when Han was tortured — when she’d had to listen to him screaming in agony from the next room. “Dear stars, kriff Master Yoda. You think that I’m going to kill my own son just to appease the Force? To balance some abstract scales I don’t know about?”  
  
“Leia — ”  
  
“The Force can have its own kriffing kid,” Leia said. “Let me have mine. Ben is _mine.”_  
  
If the old Jedi Masters were there, they would have scolded her for saying such Dark Side things. Dark Side sounding, like the act of caring for her son was something evil. Something selfish. Had they ever known what it was like to love something, or someone? They obviously didn’t. And they obviously didn’t have compassion if they thought that someone could just be sacrificed without thinking of the damage it left. Just to balance the Force’s books.   
  
“Leia,” Luke said, “What if it’s just an image of what _might_ be, as opposed to what is?”  
  
Leia paused in that moment. The idea was a wonderful one, but even so...  
  
“The Force wants me to balance its books by killing my son,” Leia said. “That...that is something I can never do.” She took a deep breath. “Luke...keep my lightsaber. Maybe I’ll pick it up again, maybe someone else will. For now...call it my way of saying ‘kriff destiny’.”  
  
Luke nodded. “I understand. May the Force be with you, Leia.”  
  
“And with you.”  
  
 _Stars knows it was never with me._  
  
***  
  
It was years later that in the afterlife, Leia told Ben the truth. “That’s the worst part,” she said. “You were supposed to live. I’m an old woman; I’ve lived my life. But you...”  
  
“But what about me?” Ben said.   
  
Leia sighed. “I fought so hard to keep you alive and you did something so foolish. Noble, but foolish.”   
  
“I had to. She...did the same for me.”   
  
“I know. Ben, angel...you deserve more than what you’ve been given. I...” Leia sighed. “I have to do this, or I’ve failed somehow.”  
  
“How do you know I deserve to live?"  
  
“Some who die deserve life,” Leia said. “It won’t be an easy road, but if I can give you one last chance...”  
  
“Maybe I’ve made mistakes and deserve to linger here.”  
  
Leia shook her head. "If Darth Revan redeemed himself, if Aunt Qi’ra redeemed herself...you can too, Ben.”  
  
Her hand lingered on his cheek just then, and Ben could see the afterlife fading away. Chandrila, steadily fading away, his mother slipping out of reach. “Mom,” he said.   
  
“I know, Ben,” Leia said. “I know.”


End file.
